Men aren't special in their desire to be strong and powerful and all the other things that he attributes to "reclaiming your maleness." Setting each other apart as if were a different species is what contributes to us being so alienated from one another.Īnd I don't even have a problem with the fact that this book is intended for a male audience. Almost everything he says in this book could be just as useful to women. We are far more alike than we are different. Because this book is pretty inline with the idea that "men are from mars and women are from venus" which is complete horseshit. I'd highly recommend researching that topic if this book appeals to you. Of course, I'd like to point out the real problem here is codependent behavior which is not actually a problem specific to either gender. I think probably the most important advice this book gives readers is that you need to put your needs first before anyone else's. And yes! Manage your expectations and eliminate covert contracts.
I appreciate the whole point that "you are a co-creator in your own dysfunctional relationship." Yup. This seems logical considering the anti-female climate that has permeated our culture since always.īut whenever he's not complaining about feminism like it's the problem, abusing the shit out of hyperbole (so much always/never language in this book), ignoring issues with consumer culture, or getting ridiculously Freudian (he repeatedly says that nice guys are monogamous to their mothers), it's actually pretty good.īecause yes, you should act with honesty and integrity and set clear boundaries and learn to recognize that you can't read minds or predict what people really want. Most nice girls believe that by repressing the darker side of their feminine energy they will win the approval of dudes. This seems logical considering the anti-male climate that has permeated our culture since the 1960s."
"Most Nice Guys believe that by repressing the darker side of their masculine energy they will win the approval of women.
Which yes, is a solution this book works toward but the author doesn't seem to have a whole lot of awareness of how women are raised and how THAT effects men, and how that leads to women raising boys as if they're women. Maybe the solution isn't more fathers to teach "men how to be men," it's to stop treating women like they exist to fulfill the needs and desires of men. Like oh, you don't like having to shove down your feelings and constantly cater to the desires of another gender? That's because it sucks, welcome to womanhood. Let's get real: this is a book about men being upset about being treated like women.
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